For anyone looking to change their eating habits, regardless of whether you want to eat meat or not, should read Jonathan Saffran Foer's 'Eating Animals'.
I grew up with a father who owned a Dairy Queen/Brazier fast food restaurant. I ate meat everyday, probably three times a day. And when I wasn't in the process of eating meat, I was thinking about the next meat meal I would eat that day. I was also pudgy, depressed, moody, and undergoing a barrage of tests for digestive issues eventually resulting a diagnosis of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I was also dealing with anxiety and agitation.
Fast forward to age 20. I became manic on top of being depressed. I lived like this, cycling in and out of both behaviours for two and a half years, getting worst with every cycle. Finally, I got some help. I was diagnosed both Bipolar and as having Borderline Personality Disorder meaning that to figure out what I did have, I was signed up for intensive therapy and prescribed my first 'cocktail' of meds. Lithium would be my downfall.
I got worst before I got better. I also gained a shitload of weight. But it became clear within a year that at least 50% of my symptoms had disappeared before I got to therapy with just the meds. Another 25% of them disappeared once I was off lithium and onto a safer drug for me. Therapy merely aided me with dealing with day to relationships that I had recently damaged quite badly. It was clear after 3 or so years that I was indeed Bipolar and would likely be medicated for the long haul to be productive in life.
At this point, I decided that I would work as hard as my little body could handle to do what I could to have a fruitful life. Not an extravagant one, but one where I would be provided for.
But I couldn't get 'healthy'. I tried to work out, but lacked motivation in a way that I've never understood. Every night I would beat myself up for failing. My self image was that of a disgusting pig that increased in size so drastically and quickly that I must be defective in some way.
I started taking vitamins. Vowed to quit smoking, which seems inextricably linked to my self hatred, and drink more water. I started seeing a chiropractor (which, to his credit, fixed some very major issues concerning my health) and vowed that I will start walking/working out/dancing around the house for an hour in an effort to get off my lazy ass and move. I only succeeded in giving up and going for a smoke to drown my sorrows.
I know. I'm not off to a good start.
I've long loved many vegetarians and vegans in their respective professions. Paul and Linda McCartney were two such people. Ellen DeGeneres is another. k-Os is a vegetarian. Apparently so is Jim Carrey. Buddha and Mahatma Gandhi were. The list is long...check Wikipedia's List of Vegetarians or List of Vegans and see for yourself.
About five weeks ago, I was working through some homework. I'm taking a World Religions credit to get my high school diploma (yet another reason to feel shitty about myself!). I was into a lesson on Hinduism that would last two more lessons then lead into Buddhism. Suddenly, I was reading about vegetarians centuries ago. Before supplements. Before multi-vitamins and modern medicine. I was hooked. I started looking into the health of eating meat. It didn't bode well for meat.
From there, I got interested in the practice of factory farming and additives given to meat and poultry to make them more profitable. It turned out that made the food additionally bad for us.
I decided to go vegetarian and continue my research. But I had to get through this month's groceries, which included already dead and paid for meat. Friday night, I was served chicken. I couldn't eat it. I felt the fork pierce the flesh and I thought of all the bad I was about to put into my body. I fed it to the dogs (which now I regret and will never do again!). Friday night, I wrote my declaration on FB and asked for support. For the most part I got it. Saturday was my first meat free day.
That night, I put aside the book I was reading, 'Siddhartha' by Herman Hesse, and loaded 'Eating Animals' by Saffran Foer. It's stunning in it's research and I hope some of you pick it up. It chronicles his life as a father and wanting to know what he was feeding his infant son, to his interviews with farmers, factory and not, and the conditions which these practices occur. It has opened my eyes even further.
I now have a new understanding of suffering. The Holocaust wasn't okay. Why is factory farming acceptable?
Day two and I feel like I have a new lease on life. My body is responding. My mind is evolving. I don't hate myself today.
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